LOST

It's been months and months since I've blogged. I stopped blogging on this particular blog for a couple reasons, 1 is that I "lost my last" and was less motivated to write. Another reason is that my life got a bit busier with work and my 3 boys so I wasn't finding time to sit and write. But, I'm back. And as I took a break for a reason, I am back for a reason...for a purpose and a plan.

I *think* I've gained some of my "last" pounds back. Probably not more than 5 pounds, but I don't like it. Since helping people reach their goals is my job, I am always hearing about what others are doing to improve. I usually enjoy hearing it (and still do), but recently, it's almost made me feel guilty. I don't feel like I have any goals that I'm working towards. It's not that I don't have any goals...I'm an "achiever" (a strengths finder test told me this as if I didn't all ready know that I like to check things off of a list, accomplish much and work hard to do it). I always have something I'd like to have happen. But, I tell my clients this all of the time, unless you set out a road map, a plan, and the steps to get you from where you are now to where you want to be, most likely, we won't arrive.

Last week, I was driving around in a neighborhood, trying to get my 9 month old to take a quick nap before I went in to watch my 5 year old's preschool production for moms. As I was driving, I was talking on the phone. I didn't really have a plan as to where I was going, I wanted my son to take a nap and I needed to make it to the preschool on time for the production. I wasn't paying any attention to street signs, wasn't looking at landmarks and if I were honest, I was probably barely paying attention to anything much. When I looked at the time, it was time for me to get back to the preschool, but I didn't know where I was. I turned a corner and still didn't know where I was. I was lost. I knew if I kept driving in a certain direction, I'd probably end up in the vicinity of where I should be. I thought I was just north of the preschool. Several minutes later, I saw a road sign that I recognized and thought it would take me back to the preschool. When I came to the end of the road, it has lead me back closer towards home (south)than the preschool. I had no idea I had gone back that direction. I wasn't paying attention, strayed, got distracted and got lost.

That's how I'm feeling right now. Like I'm just driving around in my fitness and nutrition, not really paying attention or putting any effort into the details. I turn right and left when I have to or when presented an option, but I'm not paying any attention to where it's leading and I might be taking a few turns that lead me away from where I really want to be. I'm LOST in my lack of a plan.

I don't like the idea of "watching what I eat" for the rest of my life. I have never liked the "dieting" mentality. I am all about creating healthy habits. But, even as I make healthy habits and am surrounded by fitness and people improving all of the time, I can still make bad habits (like having a treat EVERY night after dinner...) I think bad habits will always be a possibility. I'd be lieing to myself if I thought I was exempt from them.

I think sometimes in life, we will not have the time, nor should we take the time, to focus in on a "plan" for fitness goals. We might just be maintaining and cruising around. But, I think it's in those times that we don't get so distracted or mindless (like talking on the phone while driving) that we make bad turn after bad turn. Instead, if take just one turn away from the destination, we know an easy way to correct and move back the other direction before getting LOST and too far from the goal.

Today, I started my food log again. I want to "lose my last" again. This time, it's not 10. It's 5 or less, but I don't want it to be any more than that so I'm making the road map and getting on the trip now.

This time, I want to tackle some other things that have not yet become a healthy habit for me. I would also like to put out here in the wonderful world of webbyness, another big fitness goal I've always wanted to accomplish. First things first. I will lose these pounds and then focus on those things. My goal, by June 1st, I'd like to be 140 pounds again (don't know what I am right now). I'll write in the other goals when I've reached this one.