I've found that there's always a reason, a fuel, that drives someone to do something. That fuel can be powerful and long-lasting, or it can peeter out like gas fumes and cause your drive to come to a slow hault or a complete abrupt stop. It can be something that burns clean or gives off terrible pollution.
So, what drives you to lose weight? What's your fuel? I've had to ask myself that lately because my fuel was giving off some bad pollution...self pity and self loathing. Can't say I hated myself, that seems extreme. But I can say I was mad at myself and feeling out of control and the kicker...I was feeling fearful. What the heck was I fearing? Being out of control with my eating...gaining weight and not being able to stop it...being a fat trainer...being unsuccessful at what I suggest for my clients to do.
I weighed myself last week and was 145. What?? I was just 141 a few weeks back. That's what set off the pollution and I realized my fuel was dirty. I was being driven by fear.
How do I switch to a different fuel? I'm not sure of the answer. But, the dirty fuel of fear has driven me to keep a food log again. I lost a pound this week and I feel "in control" (which I understand is really an illusion). Do I really want to "control" this my whole life or can I just fuel the drive in a healthier way so as to not need to have "control"? I think the answer would be "yes". How to achieve that? I don't know. For now, what I resolved to do is to keep track, make healthier choices, practice self control and start being thankful for how I was made..."flaws" and all. Will my flaws really seem like flaws if my fuel changes? Maybe they won't be "flaws" at all when I change my fuel.
Fear driving any action is unhealthy. The only fear we should let drive us is a "fear" of the One who made us.
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